This just in!

We're all wasting our time! From the New York Times, Drugs Offer Promise of Fitness Without Effort.

"Can you enjoy the benefits of exercise without the pain of exertion? The answer may one day be yes — just take a pill that tricks the muscles into thinking they have been working out furiously."

Ok, my initial excitement was admittedly a little much. Blame will have to fall on the bellini once more. Part of me actually hopes this doesn't pan out - mainly because, off the top of my head, I could name at least a dozen guys (read: tools) I know who would jump all over this. Any more bellini and I'd be tempted to name names, so I shall sign off now. Good day.

The Kool cigarette company keeps sending me random promotional items in the mail. First was a booklet full of coupons for cigarettes which would have been awesome if I smoked (from what I understand, smokes are 'spensive!). Next was a silvery ashtray with some sort of floral pattern in the center. It was kind of cheap, but cute, and is now serving as a candy dish in my living room. I tried calling the 800 number on the box to see how I could get them to stop sending me crap only to sit on hold for 2 years until I finally gave up, thinking that maybe the two previous 'gifts' had been a fluke. Today, 4 months later, these gems arrived in my mailbox:


MP3 speakers...that came with batteries....and work. The 800 number on this box is different than the last. I should call tomorrow and try to get my name off of their promotional list, but since the gifts just keep getting better I'm wondering if I should hold out and see what's next...

So...I haven't had a good running week in about a month. Things are pretty hectic around here and I'm usually out of my house from 6:40am to close to 11pm everyday. I plan on getting my butt out of bed at 5am starting tomorrow to get my running done first thing...I hear that once you do it for a week it becomes habit. We'll see about that. I've been thinking about running, though, and picked up a book over the weekend. "The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer." Jlou's suggestion, for which I may have forgotten to thank her. Thanks J! I haven't had a chance to really get into it other than to see the schedule. I figured I'd start on week one since I've been pretty comfortable running 2-3 miles at a time, and the first week starts off with 3 and 4 milers. Big mistake. Big. Huge! (*anyone, anyone?) Slacking off for a couple of weeks certainly makes a difference. I decided to drop back to the preliminary training schedule for a couple of weeks. That schedule might be the reason I love the book so far. The author assumes that when you start week 1 of the actual training you should be able to run 3 miles and if you can't, he'll help you get there. Genius!

Let's see, what else. Oh! We (Jlou) picked a marathon. You can see our lovely faces in Vancouver, BC on May 3, 2009! I am pretty excited, as are my friends who are also SO supportive that I have been offered full payment of registration fees, gas, hotel, food, and apparel if I can finish the marathon before the course closes. For that reason only, I will have a whole crew coming to watch me fail cheer me on. I'm still not sure if the offer of funding is a motivational tool or their justification to making fun of me for the next 10 months...either way, they'll be paying up!

For the past two-ish months I’ve had myself convinced that I have been running two miles on the lake trail during the week; one mile out and one mile back. I drove next to the trail the other night to see if I could figure out the mile and a half mark for my long run this weekend and according to my odometer I’ve actually been running somewhere between 2.25 and 2.5 miles. Do you know what that means?! My time/mile is probably not as crappy as I’ve been believing! I’m thinking the discrepency wil put me closer to 10-12 minutes/mile but I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much. I get my Nike+ tomorrow…hopefully that will be more accurate than my car odometer and cheap plastic stopwatch. Plus the wristband will look really cool and professional and maybe the running club that blows past me every Thursday will stop giving me that ‘awww, look at the rookie!’ sympathy smile.

As for this week, I’ve been having a little trouble keeping pace, too much on my mind I guess, but for the past two runs I’ve just been literally stumbling along...that is until my best running friend ran by tonight (he doesn't know he is my best friend, but I see him every other time I run. Sometimes I catch him when he's winding down and we will finish out the trail together, not together together, but within a few feet of each other. Anyway, he seems like a nice guy and always says hello so that = my best running friend, not to be confused with best walking friend, a.k.a. the cute old lady who says 'good job!' to me on Saturday mornings). I'll have to remember to thank him next week. When he ran past, his cadence got stuck in my head (his shoes are ridiculously loud on the pavement) and the only way to get rid of it was to match it myself. It was faster than I usually run, yet strangely more comfortable. This running thing might actually be growing on me....

I’m currently treating myself to this:

Sounds strange but it is oh so good.

Yesterday I registered for the Human Race. Why? Because Nike made it look so dramatic in that video. Plus, what else am I doing that day. Sadly, I am unable to make it to Istanbul...or Buenos Aires...or Seoul...or even New York or Chicago. So yeah. It won't be quite so dramatic for me. Whatever. Point is (bad sign that I have to point out my point, huh?) you're asked to pick a charity to support. Your options are ninemillion.org, the Lance Armstrog Foundation, or the WWF. All great organizations, but I'm not particularly passionate about any one over the other two. That was, until I had this conversation with the husband:

Me - Which charity should I pick?
Him - Lance Armstrong.
Me - But I feel like his charity in general gets a lot more publicity than the other two. Maybe one of them could use me more.
Him - Fine. Nine million.
Me - What about WWF?
Him - Let me tell you what I have against them...
Me - *interrupting* If you say anything about wrestling, so help me God.
Him - *silence*
Crickets - chirp! chirp!
Me - OMG! That was your reason wasn't it?!?!
Him - I GREW UP WITH WWF WRESTLING, AND THEN THEY CAME ALONG!!

I believe that the above wrestling rant went on for a little longer, but I wasn't paying attention. I was checking my box by WWF and continuing on my registration way.

Anyone new to this topic: I like to chronicle when other drivers do stupid things, especially when those things involve me.

Today's installment: Angry men drive purple cars (maybe that's why they're angry?)

Here is basically how it looked (please note my wicked drawing skills):

When this was all over with, we got a "F*** you!!!!" and a middle finger*...aren't you supposed to give that "oh, sorry!" wave when you try to kill someone?

*(I might have responded with a similar gesture and something like "F*** YOU, not ME, D***** Bag!")

Running AND Wine?!

When Jlou and I started marathon training, I had my sights set on the Helsinki City Marathon. Jlou has been resistant. I’m sure that has nothing to do with the fact that I chose this particular race based on a late night TV interview in which Seth Meyers from SNL mentioned that he ran it last year. I am head over heels in love with the guy and am fairly positive I could win his heart if I just had a few miles to convince him that he loves me too. Also, Finland worships Conan O’Brien, another love of mine, and if it doesn’t work out with Seth, maybe Conan will be there...

Anyway, I have added a new marathon that I must convince Jlou to run with me. This one is based solely on my love of red wine and resistance to give it up for training. It is the Marathon du Medoc, an event featuring ‘runners in disguise’ (not to be confused with ‘robots in disguise’) in Southwestern France. Runners are given a wine tasting tour the night before as well as more tastings every mile along the course during the actual race. That’s right, in addition to water stations, there are wine stations. Towards the end of the race there are also steak and oyster stations (I don’t know about you, but I’d take an oyster shooter over an energy bar any day). The recovery walk takes place among the vines, and we all know how gorgeous wine vineyards are and that smell…oh, is there a more perfect way to end a race? Lastly, the prizes are given as…get ready for this...wine! Sadly, that might be more motivation for me to win than any cash prize or feeling of self achievement ever could be…..

Thanks so much for the tag, Jlou! (read: sarcasm)



So...6 random things about me:



1. Every once in awhile I wake up in the middle of the night, but only part way. I'm kind of 'floating' halfway between sleep and awake. I'm conscious, but paralyzed which would be sort of cool except when this happens, the first thing I think is "if an alien or kidnapper comes in my room, I can't put up a fight!" At the time, the probability of such a thing happening seems very likely, and I spend the next few minutes trying to fully wake myself up by kicking and screaming after which I check the house for aliens and kidnappers. Good times.



2. Ever since high school, Jlou and I have had the same hairstyle. She claims I've been copying her for what...8 years now...but this has happened during times we don't see each other for months on end. She says I'm a rip off, I say it's fate.



3. I drink coffee all day long. Some days I drink as much as 8 cups....8 of my cups that is which holds about 12 oz so that's really what, 12 cups?!



4. I love stupid cartoons. My favorites are Spongebob and Family Guy. I have a Spongebob ringtone and a Brian (FG) the dog key chain. Last Halloween I tried to paint Brian on a pumpkin. I got a good white base going, perfect shape and everything, but the paint was taking too long to dry, so instead of finishing the details I painted two big black eyes and a black mouth and called him 'Ghost Brian.'



5. I've been told I am 'unapproachable.' I get this from my dad. We both have faces that at rest look angry, uninterested, and sort of annoyed. When people warm up to me, they usually confess that when they first met me, they thought I was a b****. Warms the heart, doesn't it?



6. I have an unnatural obsession to reality TV, and not the good, prime time stuff either. Currently residing on my DVR are 'Kathy Griffin: my life on the D-list,' 'Jon and Kate plus 8,' 'Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood,' 'Flipping Out,' 'Gene Simmons: Family Jewels,' and 'Denise Richards: It's Complicated.' I know, I know...I'm ashamed even admitting to some of these but once I watch one episode, I'm hooked!

Alien on the run, Morgan, Running While Pathetic, x-jvfit, and liz, Amanda.

The rules:
link to the person who tagged you.
post the rules on your blog.
write six random things about yourself.
tag six people at the end of your post.
let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Oh, Jlou, my entry is up!

Chris tagged me to post 6 random things about myself. So here you go...

1. I'm a music snob. I try not to show it (sometimes without great success), but if hooked up to a lie detector, I would have to admit that I think my music tastes are awesome and yours almost certainly suck. I know, I know, they're just opinions and therefore there should be no such thing as "good" or "bad" music tastes, but I can't help it.

2. I balance all my bank accounts every weekend. Dorkier yet, I look forward to it all week.

3. I make the best mashed potatoes ever. EVER! I'm willing to accept that perhaps there are other mashed potatoes that you like more. I'm cool with that. All I'm saying is that I haven't found other mashed potatoes that I like more than my own. I think if you gave them a chance, you'd love them too.

4. I don't understand why people watch sports. Well, I understand it when you have friends or relatives on the team, but watching random people I don't know play a sport (any sport) is about as exciting to me as watching strangers play checkers.

5. I start sentences with "Dr. Drew says....." waaaaaay more than a normal person should. (Dr. Drew, call me!)

6. When I was a senior in high school, this Air Force recruiter with a girl's name used me as an example of what not to do with your life (go to college) in front of my English class. 7+ years later, and I'm still bitter about it. I'm not expecting to get over it any time soon.

And now for that hard part - finding 6 people to tag who haven't already been tagged. If I tag you and you've already been tagged, well whatever.
Ama, Lisa, Kurt, Jill, Topher, and Karin

The rules:

• link to the person who tagged you.
• post the rules on your blog.
• write six random things about yourself.
• tag six people at the end of your post.
• let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
• let the tagger know when your entry is up.

I've been keeping around 14 min/mile on my 2 mile runs for the past couple of weeks. Last week I felt like I did a little better (but my watch was broken so I really have no idea) but after those faster runs I found myself feeling like I was going to keel over SO I have decided to take a step back and do some endurance training for a week or two. I run as long as I can, walk 1 min, etc. and still wind up at 14 min/mile which tells me I might need to pick up the pace. On the bright side, there may have been a *Mr. Muscle sighting (Jlou...that's for you)!

*Name changed to name of nameless individual's tattoo in case he stumbles upon this blog, in which case I hope he doesn't realize we are talking about him.

I also picked up some new shoes today. I planned on going to the store, trying them on, and ordering them through runningwarehouse.com BUT I'm an instant gratification kind of girl and once I had them on my feet I HAD to have them immediately. I checked online, though, and the price I got wasn't bad at all. They are Asics Gel something or other. Very squishy and comfy.

I leave you with a story. My sister, Sara, works for the local school district School/Summer Plus Program, watching elementary age children before/after school and in the Summer. I had the same job during college and while it was stressful sometimes, I loved every minute of it and miss it very much. Gosh, ramble much? Getting to the point, my sister assigned the kids to write a story and she was kind enough to share her favorite with me. I present to you "Summer Plus vs Miss Sara."
One Summer day, Miss Sara was playing football with her friend Mr. Bob and suddenly Mr. Bob threw the ball over Harry the Hippo's fence where his T-Rex, Wookie, was eating the neighbors dog, Fluffy. Miss Sara began to quietly climb over the fence to get Bob's football, but she got stuck on a nail on the fence! Once he heard her, Wookie the T-Rex sat up and stormed over to eat her. He opened his mouth and took a 'taste-me' bite but YUCK, Miss Sara tasted like worms and feet! So he went in the house to get some chocolate syrup, marshmallows, carrots, and caramel to make her taste better. In the meantime, Mr. Bob went to Harry the Hippo's front door to find Sara and his football. Wookie answered on the third ring and ate Mr. Bob in one gobble. The only thing that he left was Mr. Bob's shoes because Wookie hates the smell of feet! When Harry saw Wookie eating Mr. Bob and holding all of the food, he asked Wookie what he was doing. When Wookie told him, Harry stated that he couldn't eat Miss Sara because girls taste like GARBAGE!